Wednesday, February 14, 2018

SPOILERS: Dark Knights Rising: The Wild Hunt #1


Look man... this is some Grant Morrison ass Grant Morrison shit. There's a point towards the end where Detective Chimp starts losing his cognitive thought and that's pretty much how I feel trying to explain this, so I'm going to keep this as simple as possible.

The Spoilers:

So while Detective Chimp, Tom Morrow and Will Magnus, among other DC scientists who I don't recognize outside Sivana, are on Blackhawk Island, trying to figure out how to fix everything and why the laws of physics aren't laws anymore, The Flash, Raven and Cyborg are traveling through the mutliverse on that... music ship... being chased by The Dark Knights. Ever play the up until the point you find Yen in The Witcher 3? Yeah, pretty much that.

So the Hunt... they're shooting baby universe missiles at the Flash and friends, who are trying to get to the Hall of Heroes. Everyone starts boarding everyone and fighting... some multiverse positive/negative energy shit happens and switches the polarity of The Red Death, so the Bruce side of him goes away and the Barry Allen side emerges... So two Flash! Until there isn't, because Batman Who Laughs never saw Red Death as anything but half a Batman, and had planned for this, and the plan was to basically pelt the ship Flash and friends are in with dark energy, making it basically a poison dart fired directly into the heart of the multiverse, and what do you know, it worked... because NOTHING IS EVER GETTING BETTER IN THIS SERIES, SERIOUSLY, THERE'S LIKE 1 FUCKING ISSUE LEFT, MAX 40 PAGES? MAYBE JUST 30! HOW!? THERE'S SO MUCH TO WRAP UP!

ahem.

So remember that guy in bandages that Laughs has? The others want him dead, Laughs doesn't think quite yet, and feels his prisoner would enjoy watching the destruction of the Multiverse, or at least their attempt. I think it's Nix Uotan under there. We see some skin, it's a darker shade... and multiverse stuff is his bag.

Back on earth, everyone feels the shot to the heart of the Multiverse, and they all pretty much give up. Detective Chimp, whose mind is failing him starts to freak out and out of nowhere, help arrives in the discovery of a 53rd earth... The earth of the monkey Justice League, so now a Justice League of monkeys are here to save the day and they have Flash, Cyborg and Raven somehow?

The Opinion:

Morrison as fuck. Obviously, there were other writers, but as soon as we start talking about ships made out of fucking music, you know what you're in for... or you don't? For better or worse, the Morrison stuff is front and center and I missed it, but boy does it confuse me some times. This isn't something you read once. It was fun and crazy... but I'm now completely concern with the ending of this series. Usually by issue #5, there's a "HEY, we know how to win!" moment, maybe it doesn't go exactly according to plan, but it's something. We're now at the very last second and there's not a single ounce of hope... outside some Gorillas. I don't think 40 pages is not a lot to cleanly wrap everything up this series has set up, without feeling rushed, and boy did this issue not get us any closer, it just introduced a lot more that has to be dealt with.

4 comments :

  1. I never been so confused and lost in my life. I kind of wish synder wrote this lol

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  2. How did the dark knights steal the storm watch/authority carrier ship? Im not even 100% sure Apollo and Midnighter are part of the Rebirth DCU... if they are would have been cool to see Midnighter fight these evil Batmen since he fights more on their level.....

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  3. So... wait, what? Cyborg, Flash, and Raven were using the Ultima Thule to get to the House of Heroes, but it was ultimately a plan for Barbatos to use it to poison the heart of the multiverse, like aiming "dead" Bruce at the Vanishing Point of time back in The Return of Bruce Wayne?

    Can this be considered "Snyder ripping Morrison off" if Morrison himself is also writing it?

    This was really meta, almost uncomfortably so, but I did like Detective Chimp's bits, and Red Death's transformation. But I'm much more concerned with how Bruce and Clark are doing than what Cyborg and Raven are up to.

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  4. Perhaps Metal is only the Bridge for the JL of Snyder

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