Wednesday, April 29, 2015

SPOILERS: Batman #40

So here it is, the finale of Endgame. Spoilers are out there already, along with the FCBD story, but trust me, this one is worth reading on your own, so what are you even doing here?

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Nearly Two Decades Later, Krillin will STILL be Awful!

That's right people! Nearly two decades after the end of Dragon Ball Z, there will be a new TV series, following the events of the Buu Saga, helmed by series creator Akira Toriyama, so it's legit.

And you know what that means?


You thought we were through with the already endless examples of Krillin being just the worst? Nuh-uh! This train don't stop! Krillin is a plague who will be just fucking terrible until the end of time! How many times do we think he'll die this time? Three? Four? FIVE?! Will Goku and company even bother to search for the Dragon Balls to resurrect his dead ass this time? God I hope not, because he'd probably trip and break his neck immediately after coming back to life.

Gah, Krillin. You jerk.

(Source: Kotaku)

Sunday, April 26, 2015

You thought I forgot about you, Krillin!?



You're still the same piece of shit you always were, Krillin. Just because I've got actual comics to write about in the near future doesn't mean I've forgotten about you and your worthless "I guess I'll go get myself killed" attitude. Up until now, I've been actually keeping it pretty casual, but you walking around like I forgot about you just means it's time to take the damn gloves off, so here we go...

Krillin, you smell like a Saiyan's sweaty ass. Yeah, it's true. You're one of those guys who walks into the room and makes everyone think "Ew, what's that smell? Oh, it's that guy." Then they judge you silently, while a few dry heave when you're not looking. Maybe you would have noticed your horrendous B.O. problem if you had a damn nose. Everyone else in Dragon Ball has a nose, where's yours? Where's your nose Krillin?!

What a mess.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Stack Rundown, 04/25/2015

Just think, next week I'll have an actual book to write about Wednesday (and a good one, might I add)  and then we'll be just one month out of regular comics from DC again and I won't have to do... whatever it is that I am currently doing with this website. There will also be those weekly 8 page previews to talk about, there's that to look forward to as well. But hooray for regularity returning soon...ish!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Batman #40 Preview

Trust me when I say: This issue is absolutely fucking brutal*. And that's all I'll say. Wednesday should be fun.

*as brutal as that time Krillin died... WHICH TIME WAS THAT YOU SAY!? I don't know pick one, there's plenty, because that's all he does. The god damn dragon balls were basically made just to bring his ass back to life.

(Source: PasteMagazine)

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Batman Group July 2015 Solicitations

OH THANK GOD. DC books to talk about. This whole Convergence thing is really starting to suck. Go away you meaningless books which will amount to nothing! I don't want you!

So what's new in July? Well, July is annual month, and Batgirl will be getting its third annual (of which I'm very excited for) and surprisingly, Gotham by Midnight will get an annual as well, wasn't expecting that. Fernando Blanco is drawing Detective in July, which is odd given the two month break Convergence provided. Elsewhere, Helen Mingjuechen is listed on Gotham Academy as artist, which is also weird since I was told Karl Kerschl would be back for #8 (and going by Twitter, is also drawing stuff similar to the cover of this issue IE rain) and I was told correctly, Brenden Fletcher confirmed Karl Kerschl is indeed drawing the issue.

Also, some of the books that were listed at $3.99 last month are back to $2.99 this month? Either the website that is breaking embargo is posting shitty info, or DC caved due to my hard hitting reporting! But now Black Canary is $3.99? I think they're doing "old titles stay at $2.99, new are $3.99" or something. Maybe not? Seeing conflicting info. Fuck it, we'll see when I can get the text from a regular site that people actually remember exists.

You may also notice that Krillin is not in any of these issues. Why is that, you might ask? Well, it's because Krillin is a useless asshole, that's why.

SPOILERS: Krillin still sucks

Get your fucking shit together, Krillin.

Monday, April 20, 2015

No DC Solicits Today, All Because of One Man

And I use the term "man" loosely. Yeah! That's right! Because Krillin is such a general worthless piece of crap, DC Comics has decided to no longer release their solicits on Monday, something they've done since near the god damn beginning of time, but instead, release them on Tuesday.

Thanks a lot, Krillin, you asshole. Here I am, refreshing CBR at 5:00pm, like I do every damn second to last Monday of the month, going "what the hell? where are the solicits?" Then Newsarama tells me "oh they're on Tuesday for some reason now," ALL THANKS TO YOU, YOU DO-NOTHING, MOOCHER, JERK!!!

I hope you're happy!

You know who's NOT the new Batman?

Krillin. Because he sucks and he's an asshole.

Fuck you, Krillin.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Top 10 DBZ Characters Better Than Garbage Krillin

You might have heard that Krillin is stupid. He's the worst. Just a mess of a human being. These are facts, no getting around it. Need proof? Well, I've got a top ten list for you! That's fucking right, Gotham Spoilers is now entirely dedicated to exposing how god awful Krillin is AND I'm doing top ten lists, now that's content.

SPOILERS: Get out of here, Krillin

You're awful, and nobody likes you! Why don't you go do the one thing you're good at and die, I hear Goku could use the exercise, so he might as well get it searching for the dragon balls in order to resurrect your ass, again. I'd rather be stuck in a room with bland ass Yamcha than you, and I'm pretty sure he canonically just stopped existing after the Cell saga.

Seriously. Gah. Fuck you, Krillin. You're a piece of shit, and the world deserves to know!

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Stack Rundown, 04/18/2015

Something, something, no DC books to read, something, something still a couple other books to read, something, something Convergence is dumb. Gimme back my real comics!

Monday, April 13, 2015

RAW is FHIZicho! 04/13/2015

I'm doing this again? Shit, alright. Fine. Wrestling? In the UK? This is all taped, so I could have just looked up spoilers ahead of time in order to prepare funny witty remarks! Buuuuuuuut I didn't, so this is bound to be another incomprehensible mess.

Warning: Batman FCBD Spoilers Leaked

So, given that Diamond sends retailers the FCBD offerings way ahead of time, it was only a question of "when" in terms of the big Batman spoilers being leaked... and the time is now.


John Cena. John Cena is the new Batman.


Okay no. Not really. I'm not actually going say who it is here, because I don't know... Doesn't seem right. I'll say that it's pretty much the least surprising possibility of all the theories I've seen, and it's one of those things a bunch of people guessed correctly by just taking shots in the dark. I don't know. I want to give this one a proper chance, and I will... but my reaction right now is pretty much this:

But whatever, me aside, this is just meant to serve as a warning: The spoilers are out there, so be careful. Originated from a spanish language site and I've already seen them posted on CBR forums. I'd assume it's already on 4chan and probably Bleeding Cool will pick it up soon... Then I wouldn't be surprised if CBR proper, Newsarama or other sites grab a hold of it, because got to get those clicks. Hell, won't be surprised if DC tries to get out in front of it and just announces it, which will basically be my personal green light to talk about it.

(NOTE: The identity of the person under the suit is spoiled, not the actual ending of Endgame.)

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Stack Rundown, 04/11/2015

So, fun fact, if you follow me on Twitter, you'll see that my last tweets consisted of me of "exposing" the illuminati influence in the comics industry, with my last tweet finding the illuminati symbol in my own logo and proclaiming no one was safe. For a chunk of time, I was going planning on not tweeting at all from that point on until June when DC books come back, just to see if anyone got the joke... but then this post, and solicit posts, and then Batman in April, all those posts, they make auto tweets so, I guess the joke wouldn't be possible in all honesty, unless I just wanted to go cold turkey on the site. OH WELL.

Before we get to this week's books, I'll leave you with the number one thing I wanted to tweet in my two day illuminati absence: ARE WE REALLY GOING TO FREAK OUT OVER EVERY PICTURE OF JARED LETO? I mean, fuck off, it's just Jared Leto. Yeah, he's playing the Joker, we get it. Unless he's in full makeup, there's nothing to talk about. OOOOH he took a picture like the Killing Joke, it's almost as if he's going to play the Joker in a fucking movie. If the casting wasn't confirmed, then fine, speculate. But every new picture every week is just god damn Jared Leto.

Pretty sure that's not 140 characters, but whatever.


Monday, April 6, 2015

Raw is FHIZicho! 04/06/2015

Yo, comics is dead, wrassling is life. From here on out, Gotham Spoilers is a warssling website. Maybe. Probably. I might not do this next week, who knows? Basically what I'm going to be doing is updating this post through my watching of Raw with all my thoughts on how I wish the entire roster, outside of a few guys and ladies, were just replaced with the NXT roster. Probably going to update during the commercial breaks.


Saturday, April 4, 2015

Stack Rundown, 04/04/2015

Whoa, I still talk about comics? What am I, A NERD!? I thought comics were dead! Fine, I guess I still got to do this post, just this one last time, then afterwards, it's all not totally dumb stuff, like professional wrestling! Maybe.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Looking Forward: April 29th, 2015

Yep. April 29th is the next you'll get a regular post from me. Long ways away. Let this serve as the final reminder that I'm not covering any of Convergence, let alone reading it.
  • Batman #40: Endgame's finale! Probably the last time we see Joker in a really long time, because he's been built into a character who just can't show up randomly anymore. 
  • Divergence #1 (May 2nd): This is the FCBD issue with robo-Batmam... Capullo was drawing the final pages of Endgame recently, and they were heavy on Julia and Alfred, so clearly Julia is Robo Batman now. Or those pages were drawn out of order and that theory has even less of a leg to stand on.
So yeah, it's going to be light on comic posts from now until then. I'll post any news, solicits and stack rundowns, but outside of this day in late April, then those 8 pagers that are being released for free in May, there won't be a lot for me to talk about... UNLESS I START MAKING POSTS ABOUT WRASSLING SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT (DAMNIT).

But you should totally still support Gotham Spoilers while we are on a half-break... While I am on a half-break, by clicking on those store banners and buying shit! Preferably shit you probably want/need, but hey, whose to stop you from buying as many issues of The Flash #23 as you can just fucking because?

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

SPOILERS: Batman Eternal #52

It has been a long road filled with some high points, some low points, and a lot of me swearing in frustration... Nevertheless, we're here at the end... until they announce the second volume of this, whatever it may be called... I bet it comes out in October, because that's when Tomasi has something from the Bat office coming, and I assume he's part of the new writing team... But I digress.

SPOILERS: Batman and Robin Annual #3

So, we've never seen Damian Wayne driving around with his father on the moon, and I can tell you straight up: if that sounds like something that's appealing to you, well then have I got an issue for you.

SPOILERS: Harley Quinn #16

Harley knows what all you ladies are doing by yourself in those apparently poor representation of BDSM relationship movies, Harley knows.

SPOILERS: Gotham Academy: Endgame #1

One final time: WHY WOULD YOU SEND YOUR KIDS TO SCHOOL IN GOTHAM? "Honey, this school looks great, that should balance out the fact that it's in the middle of the clown murder capital of the world, right?"

SPOILERS: Arkham Manor: Endgame #1

So that twist at the end certainly... well, it happened?