Wednesday, December 10, 2014

SPOILERS: Batman Eternal #36

So, now no one has any idea what's going on, no one except Riddler and... hey, look, Batgirl is in her new costume, isn't that neat?

The Spoilers:

Harper Row! Cullen Row! Nanobots! All of those things are still things, in case you haven't remembered, so... remember them an--OH... they're gone again.

Anyways, remember Vicki in Detroit looking into Bard's history? Turns out he had a partner named Jodie (who looked like Vicki) that he loved, but she got killed when a guy idolizing Batman screwed up a drug bust they had planned out, so Bard hates Batman... and that's when Hush contacted him.

Vicki finds this all sad (in a pathetic way) and basically tells Bard not to call him, and well, because Batman is Batman, he didn't die in the car falling to the street, and he, Batgirl, Red Robin and Red Hood all basically threaten Bard saying "come at us, bro." Well, not really, but basically

Back in the Batcave, everyone is all "yay, everyone is alright, but we don't know what the fuck is happening anymore!" Hush is all "lol." Meanwhile, elsewhere Riddler is like "I know what's up, seems I got to push Batman to figure it out, cus I'm the Riddler!" My dialogue is on point!


The Review:

...I mean. I don't know what to say. Another issue where not much happens other then everyone sitting around going "WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" 

I'm just going to flat out say that the pacing of this title since the Hush reveal has flat out sucked. Plots go dormant for too long, meanwhile the ones being utilized are slow to do anything of any interest. At this point, my greatest fear is when things start getting interesting in this book again, it's going to be far too late, and everything will be rushed, so we'll have the exact opposite problem we're facing now with too much time given to such a small amount of content. I mean, to give some context, the final issues have been solicited, and Harper hasn't even suited up yet, no one else knows a damn thing about Stephanie, or even that she exists, and so on. These are things we've known about since February, and here we are in December with another issue of everyone going "HUH?!" I just want something to happen, for this to be interesting again, but the snail's pace is just killing all interest I've got left.


  1. Gonna be brutally honest: part of the reason I dropped the book, apart from the problems you've cited in recent reviews, is that I feel like Eternal has basically been one big cynical cash-grab by DC. "Hey, we're going to tell a really compelling, interesting year-long Batman story conceived by the fan-favorite guy who has been killing it on Batman for years now! And we're going to include a team of other awesome writers! Oh, and here is an advance preview that shows a ton of crazy, awesome, interesting things that are going to happen, including the return of a fan-favorite character everyone has been clamoring for!" Smash-cut to a long, drawn-out, unevenly paced, not actually all that exciting story laden with cliche misdirects as to who the "real big bad" is...

    My point is that DC knows that Batman + Scott Snyder is far and away their most valuable commodity, and they decided to capitalize on it in concert with the hype surrounding Batman's 75th anniversary. Like everyone else here, I love me some Batman, as well as the DCU. But this just hasn't delivered and has just seemed like an excuse to tell a mediocre story and make a lot of money doing so.

    Anyway, thanks FHIZ for the continued reviews of the series. If it turns a corner, I'm totally willing to jump back in; in fact, I WANT TO. But as of right now, I feel really burned, and I feel like I can find something better to spend my $12 a month on.

    1. (Some of those other things to spend that $12 on include new and interesting books like Batgirl, Arkham Manner, Gotham By Midnight, and Grayson.)