Wednesday, December 3, 2014

SPOILERS: Batman Eternal #35

This is one of those issues where Batman sure does act stupid for no particular reason.

The Spoilers:

It's been a week or so since the fall of Hush, who is locked away in the Batcave, but the damage is done. Wayne Enterprises has been shut down, along with it most of Bruce's financial assets, including his bank accounts and home, which is now the home of Arkham Asylum. Lucius tells Bruce how bad it is, and tells Bruce to tell Batman that Bard "has him" and legally, Lucius has to work with the Commissioner to do all he can in bringing Batman in.

Meanwhile, Bard is being cryptic with Vicki Vale on the phone about his plans and how they're almost come to fruition, but Vicki is doing some of her own digging and is in Detroit, looking into Bard's past. She heads to a local police bar Bard used to hang out with, and finds out that Bard lost a lot in his life in an incident with Detroit's version of Batman, thus probably has a vendetta against masks.

Back in Gotham, Bard uses Lucius to set a trap for Batman, which Batman willing walks into, claiming something about forcing a confrontation, but hey, it goes pretty fucking poorly for him, as you can see on the quite literal cover art, and we're all asking why the fuck walked into a trap in the first place, fully knowing that Bard had access to Lucius, thus the Wayne Enterprises R&D department, thus all his god damn technology. You know what would have been a better option, Batman? To not walk into a trap and do things on your own terms?


The Review:

I'm going to keep this simple... I can't get over how stupid Batman comes across this issue. The very fact that he'd be portrayed to be this stupid is in itself, extremely stupid. That's all I got to say about that.


Guy gets wronged by masks, so has it out for masks? Yawn, please be something more.

Where the hell is everyone else this book used to star?

The art by Fernando Blanco and Marcelo Maiolo was really great though.


  1. To be perfectly honest, everyone but Vicki felt off this issue. Seriously, why were Sawyer and Bullock just going with what Bard was doing and barely saying word about all the crap he was pulling? That doesn't seem remotely like them and honestly, shouldn't they be slightly suspicious of his actions with wanting to hunt down Batman?

    Also, Fernando Blanco should really be drawing more books. Come on DC! Get this man on a book ASAP.

  2. Seriously Bruce again, "hey let me send batwing and Jim to arhkam without telling zatanna or any of my other mystical contacts to monitor them and check up on them after zero contact for weeks and shrug until it blew up. Next let me decide to easily drop my guard around the new cop who is conveniently solving all of the cities problems without doing a background check on him, until I start to wonder why Gordon isn't released immediately and now after losing my company and fortune, instead of fighting with the courts, try and take advantage of my lucrative deal with lex crop or any loopholes with being part of the justice league, am going to drive into the city with the knowledge that they have my tech. What could possibly go wrong?"
    Seriously I hope converge transplants pre 52 batman because this batman is just the worst the more I read him in eternal. Seriously since #28 this title has just going through the motions, next week better blow our minds otherwise I might seriously consider dropping this title and save my money for other books.

  3. I hate to pile on, but yeah, I've said I'm through with the title as of a few issues ago. I just got to the realization that I was looking for excuses NOT to read it. I had like 3 or 4 weeks worth just sitting there unread. I "sucked it up" and plowed through them, and was so underwhelmed, I got angry and removed it from my pull. FHIZ's reviews have been making me feel pretty good about the decision.

    ... All of that said, it's obvious that telling a 52-week story in relation to ongoing "continuity" is a big problem. It also made keeping up with the story beats really difficult (i.e., how much time is passing from one part of the story in relation to another?) I think FHIZ pointed out at one point that it has literally been months in publication time since we've seen Red Robin or any of the implications of the nano-tech "plague."

    This whole endeavor is frustrating because all the individual writers involved are really strong. There are seeds of excellent individual Batman story arcs throughout this 52-week ongoing, but none of them have really added up to a coherent whole. They've just sort of been mashed together to create an ongoing quasi-odyssey. Horror + sci-fi + noir + a ton of old Batman story cliches (Bruce losing Wayne Enterprises, Gordon losing his job, etc.) = really inconsistent and incoherent, at least for me.

    I think Snyder basically all but shot the wad of the biggest and best elements of Eternal back in Batman #28 (Spoiler's return, Harper's transformation to Bluebird, Selina as Gotham's crime boss, the mystery plague). Hopefully I'm wrong (and if I am I may jump back on board), but it feels like the only thing left in the story is to wrap up all those elements and reveal who the big bad is.

  4. Not only was Batman acting stupid, but I essentially saw this story already in Batman Returns.