Saturday, December 14, 2013

Stack Rundown, 12/14/2013

I may have to check on this, but this may be the longest Stack Rundown post I've done yet. 17 issues... Actually, no, I'm not going to check on that. Let's just say I did and this is the longest post I've done for this feature. Okay? Okay.

Justice League #25

Remember the last issue of this title where we got Ultraman’s origins? How he was basically Superman, but a total fucking asshole? Pretty much what this issue was as well, except this time we get Owlman. Here’s the thing though, Batman is kind of already a manipulative asshole, so in comparison, Owlman is basically the asshole of Cthulhu, next to Batman. Comes up with plans to murder his family, murder’s Earth 3 Dick Grayson’s family and takes him in so he’ll bond emotionally with him. Dude is fucking nuts, and now he wants our Dick Grayson to help him take down Ultraman. It’s all just sort of nuts, and I’m loving where the Crime Syndicate is going, and I think it’s obvious at this point that the Crime Syndicate will be the Crime Syndicate’s undoing. Of course with some help from the Injustice League and whoever else, but still… They’re going to cannibalize themselves. 

Justice League of America #10

I wasn’t that big on Kindt’s first two issues of this series, I just didn’t thinking seeing all these heroes’ worst nightmares was all that interesting, especially last issue, when Stargirl just revisits all of them again, completely redundant. But this issue was a bit of an improvement, mixing Stargirl’s origin with present day Martian Manhunter in her head, fighting off the Secret Society. Going back into the early issues of this series, Stargirl was often annoyed that she was on the JLA just to be a friendly public face, and this issue deals with her anger towards no one believing in her a lot. So it was a good issue in my book, better than the last couple, that’s for sure.

Justice League 3000 #1

DC did a terrible job at promoting this book, and I had no idea what it was about until Tuesday. Basically, Cadmus made clones of the Justice League members, Bruce, Clark, Diana, Hal, and Barry, but they fucked up, and they’re just not quite right. Superman has no memory of being raised human and is a total asshole, Wonder Woman is pure alpha-female Amazonian, and Batman isn’t motivated by the death of his parents. Here’s the kicker… they all pretty much hate each other, especially Batman and Superman, which is fucking great! Why couldn’t DC have said this!? Let people know before time so they can have something to be excited about, something that’s at least pretty concrete. So yeah, basically it’s the Justice League in the future, expect they’re all sort of dicks and the sci-fi got turned up to 11. It was really fun and entertaining, even had me laughing out loud at some points, like Wonder Woman basically saying she could fuck Batman into shape. It’s ridiculous! So yeah… this book went form me not knowing a god damn thing about it to one of my favorites DC is publishing in no time, flat.

Constantine #9

The Blight story comes to Constantine, and it was fun, maybe a little straight forward. You got this makeshift JLD fighting Blight, and some spooky project in the background with someone from the Syndicate and another magical character, who I’m going to guess is Nick Necro, because I believe he’s been featured on covers? I don’t know what to think about how much Constantine loves Zatanna. He basically says he puts up a front of being a cold asshole in front of her, but I don’t know… isn’t he just supposed to be a cold asshole in general? Just sort of weird how emotional he’s getting in his monologue. Don’t know how to feel about that, but it’s not like he’s sitting around writing love poems.

Superman/Wonder Woman #3

Zod returns, and spoiler alert: There is no kneeling before him to be had. I didn’t read that Zod villains month issue, so I’m not really sure what’s up with him in The New 52, but I am surprised that neither does Superman. I don’t know… you’d think after Doomsday briefly appeared out of the phantom zone, you’d think anything that comes out of the phantom zone is pretty bad… I mean, of course he’ll find that out sooner than later, but still. I thought it was another good issue, well written, beautiful art, but man… Diana really needs to take a more active role in this thing… She just needs to beat the shit out of someone or something, because 3 issues in, and she’s gotten beat up by Doomsday, and talked about Superman to her Amazon friend… Seriously, she needs to punch something. Right. Now.

Green Lantern Corps #26

Man, Hal is just so fucking bad at leading the Corps. John asks him what the extent of his spectrum policing would be, and Hal basically says he’ll rip the ring off John’s girlfriend’s finger if he “has to.” …PUNCH TO THE FACE! And well deserved! This stuff is funny in a way, but like I said with the last issue of Green Lantern, everyone being a hippy and being like “NO! Don’t use the rings” could get real old, real fast. Aside from that, what I think this series does well in particular is the handling of all the new recruits, the ones Van Jensen and Robert Venditti introduced in this series definitely stand out. Jruk stands out this issue, as he and some other Corps members go to his home planet to be “diplomatic,” which is a word Jruk, hilariously, has no understanding of. One may expect a world where politicians fight to the death to settle debates to be pretty fun… and it is! Definitely glad I decided to go all in on the core Green Lantern books, they’ve all be really good so far.

Suicide Squad #26

Yep, definitely prefer this to Kindt’s issues on JLA… something just isn’t working over there, in my opinion. Suicide Squad is fucking great thought. What I’ve really loved is the fact that these are all terrible people, everyone is lying to everyone, alliances don’t mean a damn thing, and can be changed on a whim, etc. etc. Every character just being a terrible person really just makes this a really entertaining read. I mean, once sequence is Harley tries to choke out James Jr., Jr. literally stabs her in the back, Harley joins Jr. (after getting a neck bomb strapped to her) and Harley seemingly “falls in love.” It’s all just twisted and crazy, fun stuff. There was a little bit of fill in towards the end, which I wasn’t a big fan of, but hopefully we get more full Zircher… kind of fearing what happens here when he draws a couple of Flash issues next year.

Uncanny X-Men #15.INH

#Dumbnumbering. Look, I don’t have anything wrong with decimal point issues, I can sort of see the reasoning behind that, but Marvel’s use of random characters after a number just seems dumb. Not only are the letters I, N, or H not numbers, they have no business being behind a decimal point! Does it really mean anything?! No! But it’s the fucking principal! But anyways… GIRLS NIGHT OUT! Oh no, Inhumanity! I liked the issue, I thought it was a good character issue, focusing on all the X-Ladies from the Cyclops school, fun banter and all that. My issue is with Inhumanity… Let me just put this out there. Take this sentence: “Marvel’s latest event, Infinity, has just ended with the awakening of a bunch of new Inhumans.” Now take the word “Infinity” and replace with “Avengers vs. X-Men,” then take the word “Inhumans” and replace it with “Mutants,” finally, compare the two races and where they stand in relation to humans, and the reaction to them… UMM??? Yeah… I mean, if you’re into the Inhumans, cool? I don’t really care, plus it doesn’t seem like this plot is actually going to get resumed in this title, soooo… whatever.

Cable and X-Force #17

Man, this book went from one of my favorites to just depressing, because you can tell it’s ending by reading it, and it just doesn’t have that same spark that it once had. Team’s broken up into different missions and problems, none of which really amount to much other than some light situational entertainment. Ultimately, it just feels like the book is killing time, which is unfortunate, given how fun it was prior to cancellation. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to X-Force, and for however well written it could be, it just doesn’t sound as if it’ll have that same fun factor this title has had… Plus I still don’t know where I’m going to get my Domino/Colossus fix, which is the true problem. Oh well, for what I got, it was fine. Good scene between Dom and Colossus, Cable and Hope’s story… eeeh, and the Forge/Nemesis resolution was as adorable, in a really twisted way.

The Darkness #116

Man… the Top Cow universe is really weird right now. Artifacts is doing god knows what, Witchblade is already a year or so ahead in time and The Darkness is just sputtering out. This was the final issue of the series, but not Jackie’s story… There’s going to be a OGN where he dies, that was originally a mini series, then a OGN that was due out in November, now… god knows what or when. That’s the problem, for whatever reason, this book has just been super sporadic in shipping, so it has NO momentum going into the conclusion, and with there still some story to tell, this final issue just felt anything but, so the series is left in a weird place. Now I have to wait until god knows when for the conclusion to this story to actually come out, and I’m left wondering if it’ll even be worthwhile. I don’t know… I started with the original Artifacts stuff, and the Top Cow Universe seemed really cool, now it just feels disjointed and broken, hardly worthwhile, my time reading it may be coming to an end.

Dead Body Road #1

Another Image #1! Well, sort of… just a mini series this time. Anyways, for those of you who don’t know about this series, it’s written by Justin Jordan of Luther Strode and various DC work fame, and illustrated by Matteo Scalera, who also launched Black Science a couple of weeks ago. Plot is simple: A bank robbery goes bad, lady cop killed, lady cop’s husband wants to kill god damn everyone involved. There you go, classic revenge plot, and something very satisfying about it. Are things going to go poorly? Probably! Violence! You bet! Maybe a tense attraction between the main character and a woman we’re teased he probably needs to protect? Why not! So, nice introduction, looking forward to where it’s going to go. The art on the other hand, let me tell you… Matteo Scalera seemingly came out of nowhere for me, and is on the fast track to being a new favorite of mine. His stuff reminds me a lot of Rafael Albuqurque, which is a great thing, but what’s really interesting is seeing how different color artists work with him. This title and Black Science are two very distinctly different titles, visually, and on first glance, you probably wouldn’t guess they’re the same artist, but they are, and that’s the kind of shit that really makes me appreciate different colorists.

Satellite Sam #5

There sure were a lot of blow jobs in this issue… and then I looked and saw the title of the issue was “Jobs” which lead to a small little laugh. Anyways. Not much to say about it, again, this is one of those series I like, but it’s not a hands down favorite where I need to gush about it ever month. Still have a hard time keeping everyone straight, and find myself going back to the character page every few pages or so. I think I’ve started to get it down… one guy who looks like everyone else has a bow tie, one guy who looks like everyone else smokes cigars, and the other guy who looks like everyone else has neither… Yeah, once again, completely understand why the series is in black and white, and respect the decision to present it as such… but I really wish I had some color to help distinguish characters from each other. 

Chew #38

Aww… Tony is all sad now… QUICK! Go to someone else’s story! Mason in jail? Well all right! That’s the gist of this issue, Tony is all bummed out, so we cut to Mason being “sent” to jail, only to break out, after learning ALL ABOUT IT… What’s it? Something to do with chicken prior to the bird flu outbreak. That’s what I sort of love about this series, because for how goofy it can get, there’s some serious illuminati type shit going on throughout the story… chicken illuminati. I also really enjoy the issues where Mason beats the shit out of people, because visually, since he’s such a large guy, it’s really entertaining to watch him fly about the room, destroying people with ease. So yeah, another great issue of Chew, surprise, surprise… there’s a reason why this series is in my top 3 Image titles. 

Lazarus #5

So, I’m going to be honest, sometimes when an Image book goes on the month break where they release a trade, I sort of “reevaluate” if I’m going to continue reading when it comes back. All I’ll say is that I wasn’t feeling the hype on this one Wednesday when I bought it… Then I read it, and I remembered how fucking awesome this universe Greg Rucka has set up. MY BAD. The scene at the river where Forever gets shot, and tells the other side that they just committed an act of war, so if they want to “punish” the guy who did it, then they’d be even? Fucking great! That was such a god damn great scene. So yeah… got reminded why this book is fantastic, and will never doubt it again!

Invincible #107

This book is going all sorts of crazy with the subplots recently. In this issue alone we’ve got Doc Sesmic and this new Volcano lady planning something, Monster Girl’s son planting the seeds of doubt about Robot in her head, that Viltrumite lady has the hots for Invincible now, and Invincible is still looking for Levy and that crazy alternate version of himself. Lots to digest, that’s for sure, but it’s all pretty damn good. Things have been relatively calm recently, so I expect some hyper violence with tons of gore in the next few issues, it’s due. Also, things between Mark and Eve have been going too well… oh what’s this? The cover to #110? …OH GOD DAMN IT. I blame Dan Didio.

Coffin Hill #3

I think this was my favorite issue of the series yet. Every now and then I think there are a few lingering pacing issues to be found, but there was a lot to love in this issue. Ton of creepy stuff, like insane asylum patients and their creepy dolls recognizing Eve is a witch, creepy shit in the forest, and creepy medical rituals with scalpel in the neck twist at the end. I thought the first two issues of this series were good, but this was definitely a great issue for the book, now maybe I want constantly forget I have to read it when I getting down to the end of my stack.

Army of Darkness vs. Hack/Slash #4

After some shaky shipping delays, seems like the back half of this series is on track for the rest of the run, knock on wood. As usual, you get your fill of sex, witchcraft, violence, and general debauchery. The cameos of Cat and Pooch were a welcome sight for me, especially Ash’s reaction to Pooch. Those two’s cameo had me thinking how I wouldn’t mind a short story about Cat and Pooch’s “professional” paranormal investigations… Really, I just want more Pooch. Still really love this book, but ultimately it makes me miss Hack/Slash more. If there was one thing I’d like out of this book would be a little more of a clear story thread through each issue’s various events. I mean, the threads tying each issue together are there with the pages Cassie and Ash are collecting, it just seems like everything is going to be saved for the last issue in one big blow out. Totally minor thought though, still a great book.


  1. I thought the same thing about Inhumanity when it was announced. I was like, didn't you guys just do this?

    1. Current theory is Marvel is pushing the Inhumans so they can get X-Men like films out of them, since Fox owns X-Men movie rights.

    2. Makes sense. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch will probably be Inhumans in Avengers 2.