Thursday, November 7, 2013

SPOILERS: Keeping up with the Batmans

Because Batman is too fucking Batman to be confined to his own family of books, it's time to check in on some Batmans around the DCU. We got Forever Evil Batmans, WHO IS HE!? Then we've got Earth 2 Batmans, which I'll be sarcastically crossing out his real name, due to DC still trying to keep it a secret. So, you know... spoilers on that one. Anyways what's up with the Batmans?!

First up, how about we check in on Thomas Wayne super secret Earth 2 Batman who is TOTALLY still a mystery. With Superman coming back as a herald of Darkseid, and completely fucking up the world, Thomas Wayne Earth 2 Batman comes up with a plan that involves him fighting his way to what's under the secret World Army Arkham Base. What's this plan? Well, it's to use what's under the base to combat Superman, and what is exactly under the base? The worst of the worse that Earth 2 has to offer in terms of criminals, all put on ice, including one with a fairly noticeable smile.

I believe this reveal was mentioned off hand in an early issue of Batman/Superman, how Earth-2 had cryogenically frozen their worst criminals thanks to some Waynetech stuff... So it's pretty clear how Thomas Wayne would know about this. BUT HOW DOES EARTH 2 BATMAN KNOW ABOUT THIS SECRET STUFF?! So yeah, desperate times call for desperate measures, and it could be really interesting to see.

On a side note, I would not be surprised if DC took the Earth 2 Batman reveal leak and forced it to be changed. I doubt that will happen, but given how Robinson left due to editorial issues (and confirmed that the leak was the plan) it's clear this book isn't immune to editorial stepping in.

Moving on to the Batman in Forever Evil... after last issue, there was still some people who were doubting this was actually Batman. Following the sarcastic post I wrote about Batman's identity, someone even put me on blast telling me I liked to hear myself talk. Well... hey, bro... fuck you! I was right! This issue even goes out of the way to point out some of the things I was talking about, like how the last person we saw with Batman was Catwoman, and if she made it, he made it, and blah blah, Cyborg was there too.You know how Batman and Catwoman escaped from the Crime Syndicate? A fucking sewer! Yeah, that's right Crime Syndicate, travel across all the dimensions you want, Batman beats you with a fucking sewer! Suck it.

So what does Batman do in this issue? Well, not a whole lot. He sticks up for Catwoman, cus they be bros, and maybe Geoff Johns is saying sorry for the piece of shit that is Batman and Catwoman's relationship as presented by Ann Nocenti. He gets Cyborg to his father and Dr. Morrow, so they start to rebuild him, then the elephant in the room is addressed, and Batman decides to go try and save Nightwing.

Here's the thing, if we get through Forever Evil and whatever the fallout is without a "Hey... wait a minute..." in regards to Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne's relationship, given that the New 52 has neither erased that or the fact that Bruce Wayne has publicly admitted to funding Batman, then what's the point? I already think revealing Nightwing's identity has hardly any meaning because he's had hardly any interaction with anyone in the New 52 outside the Bat Family is kind of pointless, has no real depth to it. Pre-New 52, yeah, that'd be a big bomb... Now, eh... not so much. Something more really needs to come from this. This is one of the problems with the New 52, the lack of cohesive or known history really leaves this as being not that big of a deal.

So that's it... That's your catchup on Batmans outside of Batmans books, and my thoughts on them. So until next time, keeps it Batmans.

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